Looking For An Escape
by violets-are-violet
Summary: Cammie Morgan is not a usual teenage girl. She hears voices and does things that she may regret. Her mom sends her to a mental hospital. She discovers that she may not be crazy after all. Just looking for an escape. Enter her diary and read the real story
1. The Voices

**November 8****th**

I'm hearing them again. The voices. They don't go away. Even when the drugs take over my body. Then they just get worse. Louder. But they're never clear. All I can understand is my name. "Cammie…Cammie…"

The only thing that helps me forget about them is the cuts. The deeper they are, the quieter the voices. Of course, Mom and Dad don't know about them. The cuts, that is. Or the drugs. Or the voices. Hell, if they did, they'd send me to one of those mental hospitals like in the movies.

That's why I'm writing this. So that someday, someone will know. If I don't die first.

Of course, I hide this diary under my mattress. The drugs too. And my razor.

My name is Cammie Morgan. I take drugs, and I cut myself to quiet the voices.

Some people may call me an addict or crazy. But for me, it's an escape.


	2. Laced?

**November 30****th**

Macey invited me to one of her parties again. I was too high to remember my answer, but somehow I ended up in her living room with a bunch of other people. Some of them I knew, some not.

Macey pulled out a bong and everyone started taking hits. Hell, it was shitty weed anyways. It took about ten hits before I started to feel it. After 5 minutes I really felt it. I'm pretty sure it was laced with acid because after a while everything turned hazy and even though I was hallucinating, I could have sworn I saw Macey and Preston having sex on the floor.

The next thing I knew, lips were pressing against mine and I see Josh Abrams staring down at me. He started to get grabby and even in my drug-induced state, I pulled his hands away.

I didn't want to go that far right then. Right there, anyways.


	3. Sober

**December 2****nd**

Grant's out of acid. I'm as good as sober and the voices are back. I grabbed my razor and suddenly the cuts were fresh again. I watched the blood flow freely and run down my arm. I covered it up with my shirt sleeve.

Nobody needed to see my pain.


	4. Christmas?

**December 25****th**

It's Christmas. All I got was a new phone and some clothes, but I didn't care. I was still sober after all.


	5. No More Questions, Mom

**January 3****rd**

I woke up to my mom shaking me. She told me I was screaming in my sleep. Something about the voices. She questioned me. I told her it was just a dream, shrugging it off.

I'm scared. What if she finds out?


	6. High As Fuck

**January 17****th**

Grant's finally loaded and I'm finally high. High as fuck. I went down stairs to grab something to eat and Mom was staring at me.

"What the fuck are you staring at, bitch?" I told her off, not really realizing what I had said. Like I said, high as fuck.

Dad came over from his spot on the couch, and grabbed my arm. Tight. Telling me to never talk to Mom like that again. I rolled my eyes and stomped back upstairs to my room to take a couple more hits, and cut.

Like I said, high as fuck.


	7. Told You So

**January 30****th**

Mom found my stash. She found everything. She was tidying up my room one day and found the drugs, razor and this diary. Now she's sending me to the Gallagher Institute For The Mentally Unstable.

Can I say I told you so?


	8. Getting Out

**February 2****nd**

They let me keep my diary, if you hadn't guessed already. They said it was good for me 'to vent my feelings'. Vent my ass.

It is a strange place, Gallagher. The people here are _actually _crazy, unlike me. At night I can hear Marie, my roommate, whimpering and clutching her teddy bear. She's 17.

I've only been here for two days and I knew it was hell. Three support groups a day. One drug addiction invention. And a meeting with my 'personal councilor'. At least he was hot.

I've only been here for two days and I wanted out. I knew I was slowly going to go insane. Even if they thought I already was. Trust me, they didn't want to see _me_ go crazy.

Fuck this. I'm getting out. I don't care how long it takes, I'm getting out. And I'm getting out my way.

I _know_ I'm not crazy.


	9. Dear Mom,

**February 5****th**

_Dear Mom,_

_You're a complete bitch for sending me here._

_Love,_

_Your ungrateful daughter Cammie._

That's what I wanted to write to my mom. But lucky for her, the coordinators of this hell hole read through the letters before sending them off. So she won't get this one. They said it was 'unhealthy' for me to be 'venting' my bad feelings to my mom.

Bullshit.

I'm not crazy. I might go crazy if I don't get out.

But I'm not crazy.


	10. Too Bad

**February 11****th**

So, my (hot) councilor told me that if I have good behavior, I can visit the outside world.

Too bad I managed to light my room on fire in an attempt to escape.

Too bad I smuggled a knife from the kitchen and tried to cut through the wall of my new room.

Too bad I'm slowly going crazy.

Too bad.


	11. Just My Luck

**February 14****th**

It's Valentine's Day if you don't know.

The only thing close to something romantic is the ice cream that they're serving in the cafeteria. But that's only for today.

And my luck? Because of my bad behavior, I don't get any ice cream.

I don't know if I mentioned it yet, but this is bullshit.

But on a good note, there was a new crazy person here today. A guy.

At least he was hot.

And my luck? This time it was good.

At lunch, he came and plopped right down next to me, slamming his tray down, surprising half of the other crazy people at the table.

He started chewing some of his French fries and turned to me.

"So what are you in for?" he mumbled, mouth full.

I turned away from him and answered. After all, he gets to have ice cream and I don't. Told you I was going to go crazy.

"Drugs, cutting, hearing things. You?" I asked.

"Drugs, stealing my dad's car. Convinced him I was crazy to get here." He grinned a sloppy half smile.

I raised my eyebrows in astonishment, "You _want_ to be here?"

He cocked his head, "Not completely. It's just better than living at home. Better food," he winked and snuck me some of his ice cream.

I smiled. Maybe being here wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he could keep me sane. Or at least help me get out.

"What's your name cutie?" he asked.

I looked at him, somewhat annoyed by him calling me that, "Cammie. You?"

He smirked and held out his hand, "Zach Goode."

* * *

><p><strong>I had to change Zach to Josh in the second chapter for this to work.. <strong>

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	12. Suck This

**February 18****th**

Marie is gone. I'm not completely surprised, really.

I just wonder what happened.

One minute she was screaming at the top of her lungs, something about home. And the next she was being taken away. That was three days ago. I haven't seen her since. Maybe she wasn't completely crazy after all. Maybe she just wanted out too.

I got a new roommate. Her name is Rebecca. But she's got this serious anger problem, so I have to call her Bex. She's not so bad. She's wants to get out too. She's going to help me. And I'll help her.

Zach agreed as well.

So it's final.

I'm getting out.

I don't know when, but I am.

And Mom can suck my d***.


	13. Operation: Get The Fuck Out

**February 23th**

We've been making a plan. Me, Bex, and Zach.

We each have our own tasks.

Zach is to sweet talk the female nurses and get into the layout of this place.

Bex gets weapons of some sort. Just so we can get out. Not to harm anyone.

And I wait and make the further plans. I told them I'd keep the plans in this diary under my mattress. If something happened to me, they are to find it and keep trying.

So, here it goes, I guess.

* * *

><p>OPERATION: GET THE FUCK OUT<p>

ATTEMPT: 1

PLAN:

Operative Morgan (A.K.A Cammie) will proceed to hide Operative Baxter's (A.K.A Bex) weapons under her bed until the 'time' comes.

Number of weapons attained so far: 3 (A screwdriver, lunch tray, and plastic spork)

When the 'time' comes, Operatives Morgan, Baxter will dig into the wall of their room, covering the wall with the poster of George Clooney Operative Morgan had gotten in the mail from Macey.

All three Operatives shall wait until the hole is large enough to crawl through, and precede the escape.

* * *

><p>Well, I guess it's worth a shot.<p> 


	14. Plan Gone Wrong

**February 28****th**

Well, the plan isn't going as well as we thought.

We managed to dig a fairly good size hole, but the people of this place do room checks, so they found the screwdriver, lunch tray and spork.

I guess that plan is out the window.

So now we're thinking of new ideas.

Plus, it's hard right now, because they took Bex to the lower level rooms for the week. For lock down. They told me she had one kid in a headlock because he called her Rebecca and then mocked her British accent.

I feel sorry for him.

Zach and I have been spending more time together. Mostly at lunch since we both have other 'important' meetings the rest of the day.

I really like him. He's attractive, he's funny, and he's not totally messed in the head. He told me about his family. How his mom died when he was six and how his dad is abusive. I understand why he'd rather be here.

We made a pact, actually.

If Bex can't make it, we're going to run away together. And vice versa because I don't really want either of them stuck here if I don't make it out. They've become my friends.

I wouldn't wish staying here on anyone. Not even my worst enemy.


	15. Surprises, Surprises

**March 3****rd**

I've been having more meetings with my councilor. Like I said, he is a fine piece of ass. But when I mentioned it to him, he told me he's married.

His loss.

Zach and I talked at lunch today.

I plopped right down next to him and was about to talk about another plan but he interrupted.

"You have any family? You've never mentioned any," he asked and I twirled a fry before popping it into my mouth.

"Yeah, kinda. I mean, my mom sent me here. So I don't really count her. And Dad always sides with her, so.." I trailed off.

He nodded, getting the picture.

Just then, some of the half-crazy girls had looked up from the table.

I followed their gaze and was much surprised to what I saw.

A boy my age came and sat on the other side of me and grinned.

"Hey Cammie. How goes it?" he asked.

My eyes widened. This could not be happening.

"Josh? What the hell are you doing here?"

Things were _definitely_ going to get interesting.


	16. You're Killing Him

**March 3****rd**

"Oh you know. You're so sexy I couldn't stay away." He winked at me and I started to gag. Literally.

I had only kissed him like four times in my life, and I was high most of the times.

I could see Zach's arms getting tense.

"Excuse me?" I said.

He came closer and settled his hand on the nape of my neck and I shivered, but not in a good way. He didn't know the difference though.

He had changed. And I didn't like it one bit.

Before I knew it, I tackled him and my hands were around his neck. He was smiling, as if enjoying this and I squeezed tighter until the smile was gone.

Zach grabbed my arm, "Cammie, you're killing him."

I glared at Josh, "I don't care!"

"Well I do," Zach said.

And then my hands left Josh's neck and my arms were pinned behind my back. Josh slipped away and I glared at the person who was holding me.

"Let go of me!"

Zach's face hardened, "No, I don't want you to end up like Bex."

I struggled in his arms, "Zach, let go."

"No."

And then two nurses, one male, one female, came over and, "Is there a problem?"

Zach let go of me, but slipped an arm around my waist, a warning and answered, "Nope. Just a misunderstanding."

They looked suspicious and then walked away.

And just when I thought I'd never have to owe Zachary Goode.

* * *

><p><strong>Review?<strong>

**You should know: **

**1. I'm a beta now.. So PM me if you're interested! :)**

**2. I put up a forum for Out Of Sight, Out Of Time... check it out and discuss some stuff :)**

**Thanks guys!**


	17. Make A Run For It?

**March 10****th**

It had been a week since Josh got here. He wouldn't stop with his digging remarks. So guess what my reward was?

Zach stayed by my side 24/7. Well, except at night. But he was with me all the time and I couldn't figure out if he was doing it for my safety, or to keep me from hurting Josh.

It was lunch now.

"Hey there." Zach plopped down and grabbed a handful of my fries.

"Hey!" I shouted in protest. He grinned.

"So, Gallagher Girl-,"

"Excuse me?"

He nodded at the sign above the door, a constant reminder of where we are. And a constant reminder of my effing mother and her effing ways.

"Anyways Gallagher Girl-,"

I cut him off again, "If you ever call me that again I will cause you worse pain than Josh, and I will make sure your baby maker never works again."

He snickered, "Baby maker?"

I cocked an eyebrow and took back a fry, "Do I really need to spell it out? P-E-N-,"

"Okay, okay. I get it. But onto more pressing matters. We gotta get outa here. I'm going completely fucking insane. I hear we get to go to town on Saturday. Whattya say? Make a run for it?"

I felt bad for making plans on leaving because of Bex, but it didn't seem like she was coming back anytime soon.

Another body scooted in next to me, "Make a run for what?"

My nostrils flared and I gripped my fork until it bent, "What the hell do you want, Josh? Want me to put you in the hospital?"

He had the nerve to chuckle and reach for one of my fries like Zach had. Josh wasn't so lucky. I grabbed his wrist and twisted it until he winced.

I whispered in his ear menacingly, "Ever try and take my food again and you won't get so lucky. Ever talk or touch me again and you _will_ be going to the infirmary. Whether Zach can stop me or not."

I let go of him and he huffed. I had the attention of the whole table.

As he walked away he threw a comment over his shoulder, "F*** you, bitch."

I nearly lost it right then.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>


	18. That's A Lot Of Ifs

**March 15****th**

Zach snuck into my room last night.

It was very surprising to say the least. But kind of flattering.

I mean, if you're locked in a mental facility and a cute guy sneaks into your room, what would you do?

So when he snuck in I was very surprised.

"Pstt, Cammie. Pst," Zach's voice had whispered to me.

I woke up with a startle, "Zach? What the hell-,"

A hand covered my mouth and he put a finger to his lips and handed me a baggy.

He grinned, "Found this in my councilors drawer while he was going to the bathroom."

I peeked inside the bag, "It's Coke," I whispered.

"Enjoy."

So Zach and I had sat there, doing bumps off of my bed rail until he said he should get back to his room before they check it.

But that's not before he kissed me.

And not before I kissed him back.

But I don't even know if he knew what was going on or what he was doing. He was so high.

But I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I hope he remembers.

But in a way, I hope he doesn't. It won't be the same if he isn't my friend.

But if he was more than a friend, well that's just another reason to get out of this shit-house.

That's a whole lot of ifs.


	19. Do You Want To Die?

**March 16th**

The next day, I went to see me councilor. The hot one. The _married _one. Whatever.

"So Cammie, how do you feel?" he asked, readying his notepad.

I played with the tips of my hair and raised my eyebrows, "How do _you_ feel?"

"I feel great. But we're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you."

I laughed, "_You_ might be here to talk about me, but _I'm_ not here to talk about anything."

And then I walked out.

They say there's a first for everything. So I guess that was mine. Plus, I was still a little high from last night.

I pushed past the guards and walked towards my dorm, running into Josh.

I narrowed my eyes at him and pushed past him.

He grabbed my arm and brought me closer to him.

I pulled away hissing, "Do you _want_ to die?"

He just smiled, "Oh, you really think that you could kill me? Please." He scoffed.

I just got so pissed right then.

I wasn't thinking.

I just pulled my fist back and busted him in the nose.

He held it while I smiled 'sweetly'.

"Oh, Ye Of No Damn Common Sense," I bowed to him and then kicked him in the family jewels.

He was rolling on the floor when I leaned down to him, glaring, "We all that it doesn't takes muscle to have to kill someone. It's all in the mind. And boy, do I have that in mind for you."

I kicked him again and then walked back to my room, smiling.


	20. Only In The Movies,Babe

**March 23****rd**

So, it turns out that Zach did remember the kiss.

When I asked him all he did was laugh and say, "Who doesn't remember kissing? That's only in the movies babe," then he winked.

When I told him about my encounter with Josh he went a little grim and laughed a bit. But he told me that I didn't want death on my hands.

That makes me wonder.

What secrets does Zach really have?

Why did he really come here, other than the obvious?


	21. Happy Birthday

**March 24****th**

I sat down at lunch today with a slice of birthday cake.

Yeah, it was Josh's birthday.

As much as I hate his guts, I have to thank his mom for his birth, because without it I wouldn't have gotten this cake.

I sat down next to Zach and of course Josh sat next to me.

He put an arm around my shoulders whispering in my ear, "Don't you wanna wish me Happy Birthday?"

I think it was about then when everything went red and slowed down.

I had grabbed my plastic fork and knife and lunged at him with it.

Somewhere in the background, Zach was yelling my name and someone was trying to hold me back.

I think it was Zach.

But right then, I was literally unstoppable.

I stabbed Josh in every place I could reach until I was pulled away by four more people.

They held me back as Josh gasped in pain and some people came to help him.

I smiled wickedly, "Happy fucking Birthday."


	22. Chapter 22

Hey there fellow Fanfictioners! :)

So, I just wanted to let y'all know that I am indeed, alive!

Life's been really hectic, but since school gets out next week, I will be updating more frequently!

Also, if there is ANY ONE who would like to see some outtakes from the Wicked Games one-shots (or any other fic), or request them being made into two or three-shots, just let me know! I'd be happy to continue them!

So, I haven't abandoned you!

Thanks to everyone for sticking with me.

See you next week!

~Ash


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